People Are Sharing 66 Completely Healthy Behaviors That They Get Shamed For By Others
Shame can be both productive and toxic, there’s no doubt about it. It may make us lift our rears and get things done, and sometimes we all need that extra push of “I am gonna show ‘em all.’’ But the truth is, people can get real nosy and may want to get into stuff that has little to do with their business.
So when Redditor u/Dodongicepick posed a question “What is a healthy behavior that people shame others for?” on r/AskReddit, it seems like it really hit a soft spot for many. People are now sharing all the eye-opening stuff that often becomes a target of undeserved criticism and it makes you wonder how on earth this has become the norm. Just let them live!
Below are the most interesting responses, so scroll through and be sure to share what you think of it in the comments section!
#1
Doing something you enjoy but being bad at it.
Image credits: donwileydon
#2
Taking medication for depression. I have been in situations where I have sat and listened to people talking about how they would NEVER take medications. I have had depression since I was 8. 41 years of struggles and it is offensive and it hurts when people do that. F**k all of you for judging.
Image credits: My_fair_ladies1872
#3
Spending time alone. Seriously, you think me spending a week talking to nobody is the issue? How about the fact that you can't spend 5 minutes alone in fear of accidentally reflecting upon yourself?
Image credits: Grendel_Grim
#4
Doing things that are normally thought of as social activities by yourself. Like eating at a restaurant, or going to a concert, play, or movie.
Image credits: ipakookapi
#5
Talking to yourself.it's a good way to problem solve or even just vent about something.
Image credits: Vanilla_Neko
#6
Being single. I had this horrible experience where I wanted to be single for a bit and also just wasn't meeting anyone I was really interested in. I was perfectly fine with not having a boyfriend but my friends hounded me about it constantly. Always asking me why I was single, telling me I was too picky, would show up to hangouts with men and ask me why I didn't go for it. Me saying I was fine with being single was never a good enough answer. So I started to feel self-conscious about being single, felt like I was under a microscope so if I did meet someone I felt uncomfortable having my friends cheering me on. I was young so I didn't know how to handle it so I just kind of dealt with it but it sucked. Let your single friends be single unless they are asking for your help, advice, and opinions.
Image credits: SailorSpoon11
#7
Choosing not to have kids if you don't feel like you'd be a good/happy parent or be able to support them (emotionally, mentally, financially, socially).Like I don't think I really want kids because I don't think it would be good for me/I wouldn't be super happy as a mom.
I'm on my way to full financial stability but I won't even consider it until I'm there. My mom keeps pushing me to have a kid even though I still drive an 08 piece of shit, rent, and have $60k student loans. Like, I'm not there, my kid is gonna have to go without like I did and I personally don't want to actively try to have a kid so they can go without.
If I did change my mind, I would want to make sure they had a really fulfilling life. My mom had me because she wanted a kid. She got knocked up by a dude that didn't want me so I grew up without a dad. She was a poor, alcoholic. I grew up shit and hated most of my childhood. I don't want to be selfish like her and inflict that on a kid "just because I wanted a kid".
Image credits: Googul_Beluga
#8
Being slow to respond. I would rather respond correctly than quickly. Same for confidence level. If I am unsure it means I want to double-check. It seems more irresponsible to speak off the cuff. But I think the reality is that the fast talkers are rewarded more, even if they are wrong.
Image credits: wyzapped
#9
Being wrong. It's healthy to express opinions and ideas. When we shame people for being wrong, we tend to stop new conversations from happening. In this way, we lose opportunities to understand where others are coming from and squander opportunities to change minds. Further, we push all the wrong-headed people into groups where they can go nuts following their wrongness to its logical conclusion. Just stop humiliating people for holding opinions and having bad ideas. And remember everybody does.
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#10
Not drinking every time you go out with friends.
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#11
Men crying.
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#12
Not taking business calls after work hours, everyone should take Portugal’s example and pass some sort of law against it.
Image credits: Much_Committee_9355
#13
Taking a healthy amount of time to take care of yourself, rest, or recoup.
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#14
Going to bed early.
Image credits: Smooth_Arachnid8146
#15
Not shaving pubic hair. What most people don’t know is that pubic hair can protect you by keeping harmful bacteria out of ya genitalia.#16
Being an introvert.#17
Being a fat person at the gym. They gotta start somewhere.#18
Not forcing your kids to hug others. My distant relatives can be so butt hurt when my kid doesn’t want to hug them, but I’m not going to force my kid to hug someone.#19
Human sexuality. All through high school my mom was all “stay away from boys! They only want one thing and they’ll say anything to get it! Don’t be one of those foolish girls who gets tricked and knocked up and has her life ruined!”No parties. No dating. No makeup. I wasn’t even allowed to TALK about guys being cute without her side-eyeing me.
Then I go to college and halfway through freshman year she’s like “why don’t you have a bf? Get out there! Meet someone! Why aren’t you more social? And PUT SOME MAKEUP ON!”
She meant well but…it was very confusing.
To this day I’m shy around guys I like because of that woman.
#20
Estranging from toxic parents.
Image credits: doublestitch
#21
Grieving. People tell you to get over it because they're uncomfortable.#22
Politely and respectfully expressing negativity. Bottling negative emotions just for the sake of “being positive” really eats you up over time.#23
Choosing not to be religious at all, lacking the same religious intensity, or believing in a religion that the other person doesn't believe in.#24
Staying home on a weekend#25
Refusing unreasonable requests. Just saying "no" in general.#26
Not having Facebook.
Image credits: kcam3114
#27
I got laughed at by my brother and his wife during Thanksgiving when I said I was starting to diet. Like, I get it. I'm a fat guy. Unfortunately, I can exercise, but that's only half the battle. It actually really hurt my motivation, ngl.
Image credits: TheAlmightySpode
#28
Asking questions.#29
Getting up from your desk for 5min and taking a breather, only acceptable if you smoke it seems, not actually for just getting fresh air. I get why so many people smoke cigarettes.#30
Calling in for a mental health day. There’s no good option. You call out and make yourself look unreliable or you go to work unstable and make yourself look unstable.
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#31
Wearing a mask.#32
My family doesn't think I should cook or clean and that my wife should do it all as it was in their dysfunctional marriages.#33
Turning off your phone sometimes.
Image credits: LucyVialli
#34
Not getting into fights with your significant other.Had a friend that tried to convince me that it was unhealthy for my wife and I not to get into fights. I tried to explain that when we disagreed with each other about something we talked it through and trusted each other enough to listen and be receptive to the other person. She just rolled her eyes and said that it would happen eventually because to her what we were doing was just bottling things up. I couldn't convince her that the reason she got into fights was that she and her husband bottled things up until they exploded and that's why she got into fights.
#35
Walking away from an argument or tense situation. There’s no way I can have a proper and productive discussion if I’m wound up! I’d rather take a quick walk or have time to myself before I tackle the issue. A clear head is more important than figuring out a conflict quickly.#36
Male cuddling.#37
As a man, using sunblock. I can't even tell you how many times I've been heckled on the golf course for putting sunblock on my face before being out in the sun for the next 4-5 hours.#38
Having boundaries for everyone, not just a spouse.
Image credits: reddit
#39
Being polite and non-confrontation. There are people who see this as a sign of weakness and will take advantage/abuse those who aren't assholes.#40
Breastfeeding a baby in public
Image credits: sciamachthrowaway
#41
Having a mutually respectful relationship with my husband's ex-wife and treating my stepchildren with respect (and they treat me with respect). I don't see similar situations very often.
Image credits: Delaine1978
#42
People trying to better themselves or their situation.This goes for a lot of things, exercise, work, trying to fix anything you don't like about your personality. If you try to cause change for yourself there will always be someone who shames you for it.
Image credits: Joetrus
#43
Minding your business. Some perceive it as you not liking them.
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#44
Talking to a therapist regularly. It’s a purchase of time to help work through complex emotional issues in order to have more bandwidth in other areas. Good for all regardless of mental state.
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#45
Refusing to drink or smoke#46
As a dude - having a routine for my face at night, which is weird because my guy friends have faces too so I’m not sure where the shame comes from?
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#47
Men taking care of their own kids.
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#48
Being a vegetarian#49
using a helmet while cycling#50
Exercise. You would be surprised how many people make fun of me for going to the gym. Having muscles relegates me to being nothing but a dumb jock when I actually hold a master's degree and am extremely successful in my sector.#51
Asking about kids early on in the relationship. I’m not saying you should ask on the first date but why is it so frowned upon. Shouldn’t you go ahead and find out if you want the same things in life before you’re 3 years into the relationship and the breakup will be 10x worse because you waited till it was too late and it hurts like hell?
Image credits: Satan__666___
#52
Plastic surgery. When my grandfather decided in his late 70s that he wanted to have some rhinoplastic work done, it caused a ridiculous stir in my family. He explained that he had felt his nose was embarrassingly short and overly cute all his life (like a kitten's, he would say). Since he was a young man he had dreamed of having a powerful, ponderous nose like those Greek philosophers he admired so much. Having been a college professor for a while, he always had the impression that his colleagues treated him like a baby because of his appearance.Everybody from my grandmother to my sisters made fun of him or went on and on about how this was a bad idea. He remained steadfast in his resolve, saying: 'all my life I've lived with a crappy schnoz, now let me at least be buried with a dignified one.' Indeed, soon after the surgery, he slipped deeper into dementia and sadly passed just a couple of years later. Still, I like to think that nose job made the winter of his life a bit more bearable...
Image credits: EPIC_BOY_CHOLDE
#53
I’ve been called an old lady many times because I just get tired earlier and even when we used to go clubbing before C19 I’d always be either in a corner of the club or back in the car if it was safe because I just can’t sustain a high level of energy for prolonged times. I just always make sure my phone is charged and can be contacted#54
Farting.#55
Not eating sugary products or junk food. I've been told I'm "dumb" by my siblings for being "boring" for not constantly eating junk like them. I guess they will see who is "dumb" when they get the health issues.#56
Feeling your feelings. No matter what age you are, no one is allowed to just feel their feelings because it might be inconvenient for other people to be around. I'm not talking about just feeling sad or upset, but even really excited.#57
Behaving with authenticity and integrity, even if it's at the expense of popularity.#58
Speaking or standing up for themselves in a reasonable manner and getting mocked for it.#59
Ordering a glass of water at restaurants/cafes!!!!!! I don't really like sodas so I prefer the water, but I don't want to add to the mountains of plastic bottle waste when the same water is flowing from the tap. Also, 0.5l water is not enough, but 1l is too much, a glass is a perfect amount#60
Just wanting a quiet, uninterrupted festive holiday without the expectation of visiting people in your family.#61
Expressing yourself and then they say that person is so emotional.#62
Prioritizing your mental health. It's such a high expectation on people to expect to be constantly working and seeing who can sleep the least, while at the same time maintaining the perfect home/family/appearance. It's all an illusion and careful editing presented on social media to make you feel even worse about yourself. Though we've made progress in talking about mental health there's still a lot of stigma around it and many people either can't afford the help they need or have to be on months-long waiting lists which can find an appointment being offered too late. It's such an underfunded area and I just hope that in the future we can work to a lifestyle with clear boundaries between work and home and that when people need help and support that they can actually get it without having to worry about the money/waiting times/stigma.
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