83 Times People Encountered Someone So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share

No matter how different and unique we might think we are, there is one experience that truly unites us as human beings: that awful sinking feeling we get when we remember doing something incredibly dumb in the past.

It can sometimes keep us awake at night. It can make us cringe when we’re shampooing our hair. And it can make us zone out when we’re supposed to be working but we’re remembering the time we made utter fools of ourselves in front of everyone a few years back. Your cheeks get flushed, you start sweating, and all you want to do is hide in a dark corner somewhere. Odds are, however, that whatever embarrassing thing you’ve done doesn’t even compare to what others have experienced.

We've turned to the wisdom of the crowd of the internet and collected some of the most intriguing stories of human stupidity, as shared by people on the r/AskReddit subreddit in this thread here. Scroll down to read about the silly, bizarre, and downright dumb things these folks have said and done, and, hopefully, you’ll realize that we’re all in the same boat: imperfect, full of blind spots, and prone to random weirdness.

#1

Someone once asked me and my twin sister if we don't mistake ourselves for the other one. I like to think she was joking but I don't think she was.

Image credits: Nohface2

Sharing stories about other people's stupidity is actually a very popular and old topic on r/AskReddit. One that always gathers a crowd of eager readers! The topic also tends to go viral pretty quickly, no matter when it's broached: stupidity is always en vogue. And it says a little something about the cyclical nature of content on the internet; there's nothing new under the sun! Some redditors inspire others with their posts, meanwhile, some internet users come up with nearly identical posts independently of one another.

For instance, I got in touch with redditor u/neolioli who went viral with their question about stupid people and even got featured on Reddit's front page! They have probably the oldest popular question on this topic of stupid people doing stupid things on r/AskReddit, having started up the thread a whopping 4 years ago. Despite this, they remember making the thread as though it was just yesterday.

The redditor was more than happy to answer my questions about their thread all those years ago, as well as share their thoughts about dealing with major embarrassment and why it's important to be authentic. "Even before I had a Reddit account, I loved reading other people's stories on AskReddit. I think I just wanted to ask a question that was goofy enough to inspire people to joke and be silly but also encourage them to tell a story instead of leaving a short comment," they told Bored Panda. "I didn't expect it to get so much attention. When I got a message that it made it to Reddit's front page I was very surprised. But I loved how much interaction it got. People had some great stories to tell."

#2

Former co worker of mine and I were walking through a department store during the holidays. There's an area dedicated to ugly sweaters and one had the Star of David all over it. My co-worker points to it and says "oh, isn't that sweater for that Jewish holiday? What's it called? Holocaust?"

I wish her the best.

Image credits: ATS95

#3

This middle-aged woman I work with at a fast food place was drinking a glass of superrrrr sweet tea when these words came out of her mouth:

"My doctor said that I may have diabetes. I don't understand how, I never eat sugar"

Image credits: angdawnk

I was very interested to get u/neolioli's take on how we can learn to live with all the dumb and silly mistakes we've all made in life. According to the redditor, that's actually the key: realizing that these are shared experiences that bind us.

"One thing you always have to keep in the back of your head is that we are all going through the same thing. I think that is why the thread connected with people, because it is a reminder that we are not alone in our most awkward and embarrassing moments. Everything is temporary, and things can always get better. Our worst flubs are only small specs in the grand scheme of our lives, and they don't define us. Sure they may suck in the moment, but one day they'll be just another funny story to tell," they shared with Bored Panda their wholesome way of looking at things.

In u/neolioli's opinion, it's definitely best not to hide our embarrassment when we mess up in front of the people whom we look up to. It's far from easy but worth it. "It's a hard thing to do, but owning your embarrassing moments can create a lot of levity. And moreover, I think people always appreciate someone who is honest and can admit their own faults or failures. Authenticity and not taking yourself too seriously can go a long way."

British environmental psychologist and well-being consultant Lee Chambers explained to me some time ago that it’s vital that we find a way to deal with embarrassment, whatever its source.

"While embarrassment can be a challenging feeling that is fleeting or overwhelming, being able to find a response that assists rather than a reaction that is unhealthy is a skill to build," he told Bored Panda. According to Lee, humor can help fight our overwhelming sense of embarrassment during difficult moments.

#4

My grandpa's cleaning lady was making fun of me for believing that the ozone layer exists. She laughed out loud at me and said, " Then how do the rockets take off from Earth without crashing into it?" And continue to laugh and make fun of me for it for a good 10 minutes straight. I was so baffled that I just let her go on.

Image credits: [deleted]

#5

Girl at uni didn't know chips were made from potatoes. When asked if the huge potatoes on the bags didn't give it away she said she thought it's only for design and she never reads the ingredients list, she doesn't have time for that.

Image credits: lauraursu

#6

Phone Customer: Can I pay with cash over the phone?

Me:...

Image credits: MotaTattoosGatitos

"If it's something that isn't particularly serious, laughter can be a great response that instantly makes you feel better," he said.

"If the feelings are intense, try taking a few slow, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth, calming your nervous system and physiological response. In a similar way to laughter, smiling can be effective in shifting your state to the positive. There are times when playing down or even ignoring the feelings can be helpful in the moment, taking the edge off, but it is important that you accept them and express them if it's something significant,” the expert detailed to Bored Panda.

#7

Me while watching a semi-friend do 10 seperate ATM transactions- "Why are you taking out $200.00 from the ATM in $20.00 increments? you are just adding up the $2.50 fee?"

Semi-Friend - "It all adds up in the long run"

Me - "No sh*t, it adds up to you wasting money"

Semi-Friend- "No, trust me, it adds up."

Image credits: [deleted]

#8

I knew a couple in my hometown. They were both out drinking and he decided to drive them home. Both drunk. He gets pulled over and they impound the car and take him to jail for a DUI and the officers decide to drive the girl home. She gets home..... gets in her car.... and drives to the police station to pick her boyfriend up. The officers notice its the same girl they just drove home and they arrested her for drinking and driving.

Image credits: SmithiZit

#9

My family and I were watching a program on TLC about cavemen. There were actors dressed up like Cavemen, doing cavemen things, as the narrator explained the scientific theory around what they thought their lives were like.

My Sister was just in awe watching this. Mouth slightly open, eyes open wide. During a commercial break she asked the room, "How did they get the cameras back there?"

We will never let her forget that she said that.

Image credits: openletter8

"Because the feelings of embarrassment are generated from a past event, anything that brings you into the present moment can bring relief. Try to avoid saying sorry, as it will keep taking you back to the moment. You can even keep your biggest embarrassing moments top of mind, having reflected and realized that in hindsight, they weren't as big an issue as you felt at the time," the psychologist explained.

"We can even reflect back on our blunders from the past, and with the emotion dampened, take some of the lessons and observations forward for next time we feel like we've messed up. By doing this, you will feel more courage even when the fear of embarrassment strikes, and sharing these stories will elicit others to share, quickly realizing we are not alone, and that nobody is perfect," Lee told Bored Panda.

#10

I had a customer yell at me that their donuts were supposed to be buy-one-get-one-free instead of half price. I had to explain how 1/2 + 1/2 was 1. Never understood it and just sneered ‘whatever’ at me and had me cancel their order

Image credits: whoevencaresrly

#11

My friend thought due to time zone differences between the US and the UK you could place a bet in the UK on an NFL game that had happened in the US and cheat the system because it hadn’t happened yet in the UK.

Image credits: johnboyeee

#12

Employee looking in box where we kept the nametags. "Which one is my nametag?"

Image credits: FDRs_ghost

A while back, I also spoke to the community running r/IAmVerySmart, an online group that pokes fun at anyone and everyone boasting about how superior their intellect is… only to have things backfire on them in the most dramatic and ironic way possible.

One community member told Bored Panda that they don’t feel as bad making fun of internet users who are being pretentious, as compared to anyone else. In short, they believe that arrogance deserves to be called out.

The redditor told Bored Panda that some people are “super insecure” about their intelligence and think that being smart is the absolute most important thing in life. They’re willing to sacrifice friends, family, emotional connections, and, well, pretty much anything, to get the respect they think they deserve.

"It’s okay that they don’t have friends, or talents, or accomplishments, as long as they just keep telling people they’re super smart. And of course, some humans are just smug [jerks],” they said.

#13

I asked a friend what her favourite country was.. she replied europe.. i said that's a continent and then she said london..

Image credits: DrugsbunnyFTW

#14

In my communications class in high school, it came to my teachers attention that a few people in the class (which had about 15 students) didn’t have a basic grasp of world geography, so he pulled up an interactive world map on his computer and connected it to the projector. “Okay, so this is where we are. This is?” Class responds with “North America” “Okay, and down here?” (Cursor is hovering over South America) Two girls expressed confusion over what it was, so he told them it was South America. Next, he moved the cursor over Africa.
And both of these girls, in unison, with full confidence blurted out “East America!” Later in the “lesson” one of the girls said that she thought North Korea was in the center of the US, and that’s why we have so many problems with them. My main concern was that I was in the same school district as them for all 12 years, and I wondered how the same system that worked for me had completely failed to work for them.

Image credits: Kilt9

#15

I work at an animal shelter and a woman asked me if we had any dogs that didn't poop. I told her no, all dogs poop. So she asked about cats.

Image credits: dazzleduck

#16

The following exchange is offered verbatim (or as near to it as I can remember):

HER: That suit would look great on you.
ME: (Checking the price) Too bad I don't have nine hundred dollars.
HER: Just use your credit card.
ME: I still wouldn't have nine hundred dollars.
HER: What are you talking about?
ME: I try to pay off my balance in full when I use my credit card. That's more than I can afford right now.
HER: (Irritated) That makes zero sense. Nobody pays for credit cards! They give them to you!
ME: Not the card; the balance. The bill.
HER: What "bill?"
ME: ... The credit card bill? The one you have to pay every month?
HER: No, you don't.
ME: Okay, well, I guess you can make minimum payments, but...
HER: (Interrupting) What are you talking about?! You are making zero sense. If you don't like the suit, just say so!
ME: I do like the suit, I just can't afford it. Using my credit card wouldn't magically make it so I wouldn't have to pay.
HER: You don't pay for credit cards. God, what is wrong with you?
ME: Wait. Do you mean that you've never paid your credit card bill?
HER: There's no such thing! Credit cards are so you don't have to pay.

It eventually came to light that the young woman had been given her credit card by her parents, who paid the balance for her whenever they received a bill. This revelation only occurred after I'd been accused of trying to make her feel guilty for buying sweatshop clothing, though I never did figure out where that connection occurred.

TL;DR: Credit cards are not the equivalent of free money.

#17

I don't even know how to begin, here we go:

I was a camp counselor for many years and periodically during the winter we would meet up for drinks/dinner to catch up. So I'm out to dinner with two girls I used to be on staff with and it's raining pretty hard outside (relevant info). And one of the girls who is staring outside, looks back at us, and says "isn't it amazing that it's raining around the world right now... I mean like, it's raining in Rome right now." Or something along those lines. It's important to note, that we were nowhere f*cking near Rome. And no way she somehow checked the weather in Rome before she came to meet us. My other friend probed her for more info in order to try to grasp what was happening and it became apparent.

She literally thought that when it rained in one place, it rained around the globe simultaneously. It's mind-boggling. Local weather stations?: Nope never heard of it. Different climates?: Hell naw.

I lost contact with the weather-goddess a few years ago but I still see my other friend a couple times a year. No matter what the weather is, we reference this quote.

Image credits: [deleted]

#18

When I worked at a call centre and someone said "Q for cucumber" to me.

Image credits: pixelgames

#19

"Do girls in your country get their periods?"

Image credits: mjftlf

#20

A surprising amount of people in my life have thought that ham came from its own animal and had nothing to do with pigs. At least 2 of those people had this conversation while eating a ham sandwich after claiming not to eat pork.

Image credits: spaceman_slim

#21

During a color war trivia game at summer camp, we were asked to name places the Olympics has been held. Someone mentioned Athens and the girl next to me started to lose her mind laughing. I asked her why and she responded "Isn't Athens that place from Harry Potter?"

10/10

Image credits: starsd2299

#22

Explaining to coworker that africa is a huge continent with dozens of countries. And no, you can't drive there from America.

Image credits: Blacklight_Fever

#23

Someone in my science class had suddenly realized that we don’t live inside the earth but on the surface. She’s 16.

#24

I was explaining to my mother in law that the reason why my hubby and I were having fertility issues was that I don't ovulate properly aka don't release an egg. She thought about it for a moment and asked with all seriousness why we couldn't just use one of my husband's eggs. I just looked at my husband trying not to laugh and stated that only women have eggs and men have sperm.

That is pretty basic biology.

#25

Co-worker once asked, “Wait is Kentucky a real place or is it just the name of the chicken?”

#26

A previous coworker of mine thought that when looking at images of hurricanes, what she was seeing was the ocean swirling and not clouds.

She had a bachelors degree.

#27

In Wales, we get the option to use an ATM machine in either Welsh or English. Myself, a Welsh friend and an English friend were at an ATM.

My English friend asked my Welsh friend why he always used the ATM in Welsh. His response was "Less people can understand Welsh, so less people can read my pin number".

#28

At an airport on a school trip to fly out to Berlin, teacher said throw away all liquids before going through security......and one of the other students said “Miss, is water a liquid...?” Single handedly one of the most stupid things I’ve heard someone say...

#29

During my senior seminar for an anthropology degree, a fellow student asked if married people started to look like each other as they grew old together because the genetic material they were exchanging during sex was becoming part of the other person's genome.

#30

I love one of my really good friends so much, she is so kind, but she's very...conservative(?) She doesn't know I'm gay, I'm single and I can't pin point how she would feel about me if I told her. The other day she made a joke about a gay bar and I said "Yes girl let's go" and she said "No, I'm really scared if I go I will turn into a lesbian, isn't that what happens?" Essentially gay people have just simply been around gay people and they turn gay. And I'm like...oh honey, you've known me for 4 years now nearly. And I felt bad, but "that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard" did slip out of my mouth.

#31

A phone conversion with my now ex:

Her: "I found a piece of candy on the floor" (in a wildly disgusting house mind you)

Me: "Don't eat it"

Her: "But it's still in the packaging"

Me: "Do not eat it"

Her: "I'm gonna eat it"

crunch

Her: various sounds of disgust

Me: "I told you!"

Her: "I don't think that was candy"

Me: "Send me a pic of it"

Cue a picture of definitely NOT candy, but a ceramic wall decoration with bible quotes on it labeled "Christmas decorations" with the top left chunk in pieces, still laying on the floor

BITCH WAS ALMOST 18 YEARS OLD

Image credits: SupremeMemeCreamTeam

#32

Happened just this last Sunday actually as me and my wife were having thanksgiving early with her family. My wife’s cousins husband said that vaccines were bad, sandy hook didn’t really happen, and that we didn’t really land on the moon. He said this all in the same conversation. I thought he was just joking but he assured me he wasn’t. I’m usually a pretty passive person but I f*cking lost it, the rest of the family had to separate us for a bit. The most aggravating thing was it didn’t matter what I said he was just like “you need to do more research.” Like mothercucker you just told me you learned this from watching a few YouTube videos. Oh my god I need a drink just thinking about it again.

#33

A coworker was trying to convince me that Nova Scotia was in Eastern Europe, I kindly pulled up a map on the internet. He quickly got embarrassed and confessed he isn't good with geology.

#34

Ever hear of those sh*tty free online IQ tests? My friend took one of these - but the one she took was even worse than the regular ones. It was obviously not a valid IQ test and probably made by either a 12 year old, a drunk person, or a drunk 12 year old. Anyways, one question was "what is your favorite food out of these four," which was already a really bad question. I didn't think it would get worse until I saw "What do you think of the iPhone?" I don't remember the fourth option, but out of "I love the iPhone," "It's good technology," and "What's an iPhone?" The smartest choice was what's an iPhone. Ridiculous, your IQ is higher by being ignorant of the world around you. Anyways, to the main point, she got a high score and put it on her resume. I unfortunately can't find the IQ test.

TL;DR: Girl takes sh*tty inaccurate online IQ test, gets a high score, puts it on her resume.

#35

My sisters friend, who is 22, believes that why you fly in an airplane, once you are in the air you just levitate there and the earth rotates under you. When the plane is over the destination the plane lowers again and that’s what happens.

She wants to be a teacher.

#36

Someone in my freshman year college class: "Professor, do you think dinosaurs existed?"

Professor: "There seems to be a lot of evidence in favor of that conclusion. What do you think?"

Someone: "I don't think they did. I mean, how do we know they were called dinosaurs? They could have been called anything."

#37

I knew who a girl who said the following...

In a room filled with cigarette smoke, she flipped out when my friend pulled out chewing tobacco, saying she was allergic. When we told her the room we've all been smoking tobacco around her for the past 2 hours, she said, "I'm not allergic to smoke, just tobacco."
When asked by a coworker about her religion, just to get to know her, she replied that she was a Scientologist. My friend, intrigued, asked how she got into Scientology. She said, "I just believe in Science and technology and stuff and we need to use our brains more, so I'm a Scientologist."
She said, "My favorite band is Nickelback."

#38

My wife was telling her sorority sisters about how she was allergic to wheat. One of the girls responded with "why don't you just eat white bread instead then?"

umm... what do you think it's made of? White??

#39

Guy at my high school asked a biology teacher if humans photosynthesize. When told that we don't he responded "But how come when I go in the sun my skin turns brown?" He was 18.

#40

I own a diner and we do a healthy to go business. So one day I’m taking an order and the lady asked for the soups of the day. The conversation went like this. Customer: what’s the soup of the day. Me: Beef Barley and Chicken noodle. Customer: Does the beef barley have meat in it. Me: yea it’s beef barley. Customer: Oh forget it. I can’t eat pork. I’ll have a BLT instead. Me: (quietly weep for society)

#41

World History class in high school. This girl really asked how we won the American revolution when the Germans had airplanes.

I had to remember to breathe.

#42

A woman once asked me if Antarctica was really hot, because Mexico is south of us and it's really hot, and other countries are south of us and they're really hot too. This woman was 40 years old.

#43

A few years ago I was traveling in Kenya and a few of us shelled out for a safari. Our guide was great and at one point said all the names for the animals in Swahili- simba is lion, for example.

An American then asked “did you always call them that, or did you decide to change it after The Lion King came out?” I really wanted to apologize to the tour guide in that moment who had to respond with respect to that guy.

#44

Watching "Dynasties" (British Attenborough documentary featuring chimps). Attenborough introduces the alpha male chimp on screen as David. Friend asks how they know he's called David.

#45

While in a really long car trip with my parents, we were discussing countries we'd like to visit. My mother said she'd like to visit Japan to see the Great Wall of China.

My dad and I don't let her forget.

#46

"theres always a 50% chance of rain. Think about it, it will either rain or it wont so thats gotta always be 50%."

#47

Biological mom of our former foster son, talking to his court-appointed lawyer (guardian ad litem): He doesn't need to go to the doctor. All babies get ear infections.

She had 0 idea that he could suffer from hearing loss if she ignored them enough times, not to mention how miserable he felt.

#48

I remember sitting in a World Civ class in high school and a girl in my class asked how people outside of the US lived, since they were in a desert. The teacher tried to have her clarify, which desert(s) to which the girl responded with, the one outside the US.

​

She was convinced that every single nation outside of the US was comprised solely of deserts and that any major cities she had heard of (i.e. London, Paris, etc.) were actually US cities...

#49

Teacher in middle school was playing a cassette tape for the class that was a bit distorted, so she attempted to improve the audio by...

...adjusting the antenna.

#50

I was on a school trip to Germany and we visited the casino in Baden Baden. One kid asked “do the Native Americans run the casinos here too?”

I almost fell over.

#51

When I worked at a chemical facility, we had a genius production supervisor who figured out that you could increase the RPMs of the mixer without overheating the batch if you just remove the mixing blade, so it's just a shaft rotating inside a drum of viscous liquid. Then he blamed the guy running the QA testing (me) when the batch failed badly.

#52

This woman that said this is fairly educated, which is why I could not get my head around that she was serious. She said she loves thunderstorms because it's amazing that water filled clouds that collide can make such a noise. I was like "what?" She then proceeded to explain to me how thunder happens from all the water particles in the clouds colliding. She was dead serious.

#53

my ex in highschool and her friends. we were all standing around bullsh*tting and one of her friends brought up how north is up, like into the sky. She was 16. I said uh,no that's not how that works. Her, my ex, and their friend all argued with me for over 20 minutes how I was wrong and how south was down, into the ground and north was up into the sky.

I ended up just leaving mid conversation, I couldn't handle it.

#54

Teacher during math class discusses scientific notation with distance from the Sun to the Earth as an example and draws a diagram.

Girl in class shouts out, "Wait isn't the sun a planet?"

The teacher explains to her the concept of what stars are and this girl says "So all those other dots in the sky at night aren't planets?"

#55

A girl in my high school French class asked what was on French currency, "like how we have the presidents" and then said "wait, is the president the president of the whole world, or just the United States? Like does Africa have their own president?"

#56

Guy heard about the drought going on in South Africa. He proceeded to scoff and tell me that it’s all a hoax, and to “tell that to the oceans which cover most of the planet with water”

Guy didn’t know we do not and cannot use the oceans as a source of drinking water.

#57

I work in a door factory. I put doors on a router, set them somewhere, and my coworker puts glass in it and sends it off.

I usually get ahead of my coworker, so I had multiple piles with different orders. My coworker asks which pile to start on, and I tell him the far right one.

He goes for the one on the far left and I’m yelling at him not that pile, the far right.

He proceeds to go farther left and look for doors that aren’t there.

Comes to find out that this dude doesn’t know his lefts or rights. I had to teach him the differences twice now. I showed him that trick you do with your left hand to make an L last time though, and he hasn’t messed up since.

#58

In replying to a student's question:

Student: "No, there's only like...maybe sixteen hours in a day."

Me: "I can assure you, there are twenty four hours in a day."

​

Student was a junior in high school.

#59

Ok, flashback to my chemistry class, 10th grade. my teacher had just explained how it takes 750 liters of water to make one liter of orange juice or something like that, and this girl in my class, I'll never forget her name (Genesis, everyone hated her because of how stupid she was/probably still is), but anyways, a little more than FIVE MINUTES after my teacher said that she asks out loud, for the entire class to hear; "If the clean and drinkable water is running out, than why doesn't everyone just drink juice?" OMFG she got FLAMED by the entire class, we devolved into animals. Everyone was SCREAMING at her and she still didn't get what she had said.

#60

We were collecting food for homeless people, and someone donated a fajita kit. So really all the homeless person needs now is chicken, vegetables, utensils, and an appliance to cook it on.

#61

Was once at a 7/11 with a propane display outside, dumb redneck gets out of beat to sh*t pickup and flicks a cigarette right into the bone dry mulch infront of said propane (we were in a heat wave too, past 3 days had been 90+ with 0 humidity). 20 seconds later the mulch starts smoking cause it caught fire, i jump out of the car and stomp it out then go inside and start cussing out the guy for being that stupid "its no big deal" was his reply, 7/11 guy kicked him out and i got a big gulp comped to me. Just can't believe someone was that stupid, if i wasnt there the entire propane display could have exploded.

#62

I heard it come out of my mouth and I honestly don’t even know how it happened. I asked my friend which animal turkey (the meat) comes from...ya I know. Idk where my head was.

#63

I once watched a girl's mechanical pencil run out of lead. Instead of changing it out, she throws it away. Because it was out of lead.

#64

So no joke, I was at a resturaunt bar the other week. These 2 very hammered couples are sitting there trying to order more drinks and the bartender has a waiter bring them free bread to help sober them up. This one dumb bitch goes,"I'm a vegan. Whats in this bread?". The bartender tells her that theres eggs and butter in the bread and the chick goes, "Are eggs vegan?". I had to stop myself from face palming.

#65

At 17 years old I assumed this girl couldn't be that dumb, but honestly the sh*t she said made me think she should be watered once a day. Some of the best included:

"Solar panels wont work in space cause theres no sun light out there"

"Copper smells like a wet muffin"

"If you stood under a really strong waterfall would you erode or would the water just move out of the way"

#66

Blowing balloons up with my own air (no gas etc) with my wife prior to a party.

Wife: “No no no. Don’t blow the balloons that fall to the floor, blow up the floating balloons”

Me >Look of disbelief< “What? You need to use helium for that?”

Wife: “No, you’re just not bothering, that’s what it is”

#67

When I was in high school history class, this dumb as a brick girl asked our teacher (who was from the south, but we weren't even remotely close to the south, still no excuse) If she'd ever owned a slave.

#68

While discussing taking a girls trip and going on a cruise my friend once said "I think it would be pretty easy, we could just get a cruise out of Dallas" everyone paused. Her husband then broke the silence with "that is our marriage summed up into one sentence"

#69

Worked with someone who would say "It's Friday somewhere!" unironically on Tuesdays.

#70

Unfortunately, it came from my mouth as a teenager ...

Me: *Looking at construction site* I wonder what's going in there?

Mom: It's going to be a Meijer - like a Wal-Mart. It will take 150 people to open the doors.

Me: *Amazed*

Me: *Still amazed*

Me: *Amazed and now confused*

Me: ... H-how big are the doors?

#71

"Why do I have to clean the oven if it just gets dirty again?"

#72

I was driving with my mother on a pitch black night. My mother said the stars weren't out because there was no moon for them to reflect off of.

Love you mom!

#73

Girl I used to date was convinced that used cars came with insurance.

We went out to look at cars for her one weekend and on the way to the first lot, it came up in conversation. She absolutely did not believe me to the point that it was almost an argument. Salesman told her the same thing, so she demanded we go to another dealership.

We visited 4 dealerships that day and all of them told her the same thing.

Relationship didn't last much longer, but earlier this year she was pulled over and arrested for a litany of offenses including a DUI, but surprise! She had no auto insurance.

#74

Okay, so there was this mother that I once met, I'll call her Karen. So Karen is your typical MLM mom, she's in like 3 of them, including an Essential Oil one. One day, her son gets sick. Instead of getting cold medicine or whatever, she feeds him Essential Oils. Of course, he gets sicker, so the school he goes to treats him right. After hearing about this, his mom said, and I quote, "Don't give him that! The big pharma chemicals will make him immune to the Essential Oils!"

#75

Me: "With all due respect, but we DID evolve from some kind of primates"
Uncle: "Then why don't monkeys do the same now?"

#76

From a customer "How do you type a capital 4?"

#77

I play basketball and this one day we got talking about shooting percentages. So this one kid would try to convince us all that when you would shoot 0 shots and obviously make 0, you shot 100% because you didn't miss. He started this like 2 years ago and still when people bring it up he says he's right.

#78

I once heard a girl say that she doesn't believe in miscarriages. Edit: Another good one is that if she asks is something's gluten free she asks "is that gluten?". Meaning the exact opposite. She also said she is going to become a navy seal, she is not in the navy. We were out of state and she said "oh wow, wild cows". They were not wild cows.

#79

"Where's Saudi Arabia on this map (map of Africa)?" "Where's Jamaica then (still the map of Africa)?"

#80

Knew a girl who started becoming worried that her birds were gay, and eventually realized that they are...she said she was going to love them anyway and do her best to care for them despite their homosexuality

#81

In high school when this girl found out prisoners used to be sent to Australia she said “that’s stupid, they could just swim back to Europe”

#82

"What time does the 9:30 am class start at?"

"I'm sorry?"

"The 9:30 am class, does that start at like 9:45? or?"

#83

I'm late but my mother once years ago said "Cats are cold blooded because they like to lay in the sun." We immediately said...what? No did you go to school?

4 or 5 months ago she doubled down on this stating the exact thing for the exact reason. I told her "Are you cold blooded because you like to sun bathe?"

She still thinks cats are cold blooded.