Advice On Parenting, Marriage, And Mental Health From A Mom Who Has Gone Through A Lot (24 Pics)

When Caitlin Fladager posted her first photo online, she had no idea how many people would end up following her.

"I was 18 and I was about 15 weeks pregnant with my daughter," Fladager, now 27, told CBC. "I liked posting pictures of my belly. I just liked sharing it for myself to remember and for my family who lives far away, and people kept following me from there."

Eventually, Caitlin started getting recognized while she was shopping. Today, the mom-of-two has over 3 million followers across her social media platforms.

"I got well-known for my life looking perfect," said Fladager. But behind the scenes, the young woman was struggling with her mental health, and maintaining the illusion of perfection was taking a huge toll on her.

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Scrolling through her feeds, it's easy to see why so many people want to see her life unfold.

Caitlin and her then-boyfriend, Noah Slomski, started dating when they were 16 and 15 respectively. She documented and shared their goofy teenage relationship mature into a lovely family when their daughter Ariana was born 2 years after they met.

The high school sweethearts soon married, and when their son Jack was born in 2015, Caitlin's following was so big that companies were offering her up to $3,000 to post about their products on Instagram.

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Fladager admitted she enjoyed the attention, but the more supporters she had, the more trolls came to her social media accounts, leaving one nasty message after another. Furthermore, haters were constantly criticizing her on forums like 'YouTube Momma Drama.'

"I like to please everybody and that made it very difficult for me," Fladager explained. "It was hard to accept the fact that not everybody is going to like me and that was something I really struggled with."

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Fladager doesn't blame social media for her depression but thinks that spending so much time online didn't help either. Scrolling through other people's feeds only made her feel inadequate, and maintaining her own public image left her feeling like a fraud.

At her lowest point, Fladager recalls dragging herself out of bed, putting on fake eyelashes and hair extensions, and dressing up so she could take a photo to post, then immediately taking everything off and returning to bed.

"I wasn't going anywhere, I didn't feel like doing my makeup. I just did it for the 'Gram.' That's what you see when you go onto Instagram. Especially when you have a lot of followers, you feel a lot of pressure to post content people want to see, and what they wanted to see at that time, I thought, was perfection."

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Fladager said she thought about terminating her social media accounts all the time, but she had to make a living.

"I needed a way to support my kids," the mom said. "You can't just quit your job when it gets hard."

However, she could no longer hide her depression. As her family began noticing what was happening, her marriage broke down. Five-year-old Ariana asked her mom why she was so tired all the time.

It was when Fladager decided to start therapy. "I was like, my five-year-old is noticing this. I need to get help."

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"Noah was there the whole time," Caitlin recalled this difficult period on Love What Matters. "He held my hand while the doctor assessed me. He stood by me while I waited for my anti-depressants to be filled. He came over at night when it was all just too much for me. He was the better parent when I mentally couldn’t be one."

After about a year and a half, she was mentally better. "I was cleaning more, cooking more, smiling more. So, Noah and I decided we were too good to be apart any longer."

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In addition to seeking professional help, she also decided to share her struggles with her followers and tear down the facade on what was really going on.

"It's been a struggle for Noah and me," the mom said. "We've been dealt our fair share of crappy cards. But we've made it. It's not always easy. It's not always beautiful. It can be quite ugly sometimes. Because that's life. That's relationships. Sometimes it takes time apart, work, or whatever it may be, to get back on track."

Caitlin's posts have transformed from genuine snippets that she no longer feels guilty for sharing, and her followers appreciate her openness and authenticity as the woman strives to find the right balance between being an influencer, a mom, and a healthy human being.

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