“Because I Was Born Male”: 13 Cases Where Parents Dislike Or Actually Hate Their Kids

Not every parent glows when talking about their kids. Some feel guilt, regret, even resentment but they rarely say it aloud. And while society tells them to cherish every moment, not everyone finds joy in sleepless nights, tantrums, or the constant demands of raising a child.

In this brutally honest roundup, parents share the moments and reasons they realized they didn’t actually enjoy being a parent. From losing their identity to dealing with entitled children, these posts pull no punches. It's the side of parenting most are afraid to admit, but everyone should probably hear.

Discover more in “Because I Was Born Male”: 36 Cases Where Parents Dislike Or Actually Hate Their Kids

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#1

My mother had 7 kids. My mother didn’t like the girls much and fawned over the boys. The result, 3 feminist women who don’t want kids. Hmmm . I wish people would stop having children because they think they must have them. Unloved kids become adults who feel unloveable.

#2

I’ll answer for my parent. She had an accident. Got a brain injury and completely changed due to the brain damage. She went from the most loving mother to a complete narcissist and I was the target. Nothing can be done to change it. We tried therapy etc. doctors say it’s a side effect of the brain damage.

© Photo: Dizzygirlneedshelp

#3

Not a parent, but the child. Mother resents me, I dislike her.

It's a combination of things, really. Firstly, I'm the result of my mother losing her virginity at 21 to a man she hated during a one-night stand after being dumped by her first love. She came from a pretty strict Irish Catholic family, and there are family members who refuse to meet me because I was conceived/born out of wedlock. Even though she later married that first love (the man who raised me/I consider to my be dad), I am a walking reminder of a shame she never washed off and something that ruined her life.

She has been depressed since her mid-teens, but is also very selfish, vindictive, childish and quick-tempered. She resents me for recovering from the same depression and massive weight gain/insecurities she went through, for going to college (she alternates between saying she never wanted to go to college or saying that she was never "allowed" - depending on how much of a victim she feels that day), for the good relationship I have with my siblings and for being young and (relatively) happy in general. It was mainly her attitude towards me that let me know I was different from my siblings (i.e. had a different father) years before my step-dad told me when I was 11.

© Photo: vixensvicodin

Parenting isn’t just challenging, it’s a full-blown emotional workout. You’re constantly giving up your space, your sleep, your time, and let’s be honest, sometimes your sanity. So when your child refuses to listen after all that sacrifice, it hits hard. That mix of exhaustion and feeling unappreciated? It’s real. But it doesn’t make you a bad parent, it just makes you human.

Sometimes, resentment creeps in when our expectations don’t line up with reality. Maybe you were a straight-A student and just assumed your child would follow the same academic path. When they don’t share your love for math or science, it can feel frustrating. But here’s the thing: expecting your child to be a mini version of you isn’t fair to them. They’re their own little person with different interests. And that’s totally okay.

#4

My “mom” hates me, because I was born male. She felt entitled to a girl.

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#5

I could never hate my kids, they are my purpose in life. But I can speak towards my mother not liking me and the answer isn't totally clear but it has a foundation of mormonism and me not accepting it as a young child. We rarely speak and if we do she's just gossiping about whoever and or telling some sad story, it's just so toxic and stupid.

© Photo: anon

#6

Hate isn’t the right word, but sadness and disappointment would be more accurate.

Basically, I’m the child of 2 parents who are very low/no empathy. Assumed it was because of their traumatic childhoods (and that’s likely partially true, but not entirely).

Gave birth to 2 kids, 1 of whom is similar to my parents in lack of empathy. Appears to be a genetic component that doesn’t affect me, but I passed it on nonetheless.

© Photo: Dragmom

Other times, it’s not even about the child, it’s about our own emotional baggage. Unresolved issues from our past can sneak into our parenting without us realizing. Maybe we’re reacting more to our own hurt than our child’s behavior. When that happens, it’s important to pause and check in with ourselves. We all carry scars, but passing them down unintentionally? That’s where healing needs to begin.

#7

I have a daughter she is almost 30 and has a daughter of almost 2. She is a narcissist and her goal in life is making me as miserable as possible. I tried everything, therapy, love unconditionally, everything I could do. But all she wants is fighting, cursing, setting my family members up against me. And money, when she needs money she will text me and I am happy to hear from her. And although I am on a fixed income I give her everything she wants.

I only saw my grand daughter twice when she needed money for a dryer and another expensive thing. As a child she was a handful. Had to place her in a group home for teens with odd.

I had an accident recently and have traumatic brain damage. She can’t deal with it and broke of contact yet again. Because I sent messages of love and that is not what she want. I feel sad because she leaves a trail of broken relationships behind her, always fighting with neighbors, people on the street, her own daughter (cps is involved, everyday is someone with them) she refuses to see her sister.

I know the title says parents who truly hate their kids, I don’t hate her, I love her. But it hurts so much, so much pain and grief.

I wonder where I went wrong. So many self doubts and regrets.

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#8

Needed to create a throw away for this...

Let me preface this with saying I do love my son very much, but I do feel resentful at times. It's not his fault, I recognize that, and I take that into mind with each interaction I do to try and make him not feel it.

My son was diagnosed with autism earlier this year. I had been trying to get him diagnosed since he was 2 or 3, he is now 5.

But it doesn't change that while I had no idea what was going on, my son was very... independent. He didn't enjoy cuddling much ( that's changed a bit thankfully ), he didn't like it when we would try to interact with him, to play with him, he would just take his toy, turn, and go back to usually flipping it around and clapping.

He is not conversationally verbal, though he does speak. He lets me know when he wants something, such as lunch or if he needs to go to the bathroom, but I can't ask my son how school was, or why he's sad and get an answer. And it's heartbreaking. I recently watched Mr. Holland's Opus, and the scene where the wife/mother is screaming at him because their son can't hear, and she just comes unhinged at Holland. Even though they are different scenarios, the message was the same "I want to talk to my son". I'm not a terribly empathic person. i don't usually relate to movies or songs... and that scene got me to break down crying, because I know that frustration... and I know the pain of not being able to give your child what he needs because you can't understand him.

We have been working on getting him the therapies he needs ( speech, occupation, and ABA ), and hope to see improvement soon.

My fiance explained it in a better way than I could, with how my resentment is. I, like many parents, envisioned a different future for my child. My fiance likened it to wanting to go to Paris your whole life. You prepare, you plan your trip so perfectly, you know exactly what you're going to go, when you're going to do it. Everything is great.

And then your plane lands in Rome. Is Rome terrible? Absolutely not. It has some amazing sights. But my plan was Paris. And I understand that this is something I need to get past, that it's not a problem with my son. But knowing things logically, and doing things emotionally don't always coexist.

© Photo: I_Must_Throw_Away

#9

I resent my son sometimes. I had him at 19 and his father waited until he was 4 to engage in his life. However over the years his dad fills my son's head with anything my son wants to hear and never follows through. His dad works under the table so that child support doesn't auto deduct his pay allowing his dad to rank up10k in back payments. Now here is the part that frustrates me. At school or upon meeting someone. My son likes to throw my husband and I under the bus. I am unable to work so my husband ( his step dad) works and supports him. My son's biological father will buy my son xbox,iphone, 3ds etc and get upset when I need to take them away from my son. I tell my son he can earn them back etc. What really makes me resentful is my son tells everyone how terrible we are. Never once has he said anything about his dad. this dad constantly breaks promises. Doesn't show up or call during a planned visitation. Tells my son he can move in with me anytime he wants. Then tells me he can't afford to behind my sons back. My husband has been 100 percent paying my sons food clothing shelter alone for 8 years without my sons father paying us a dime. His father also found it acceptable while working under the table to collect unemployment. The only thing my sons father buts for my son is an electronic device to hold over my head. (he bought item how can i punish my son from said item?) I find it very difficult to not feel resentful towards my sons attitude about my husband and I. We cannot afford expensive electronics. We do buy him everything he needs and he always gets what we can do for birthdays and christmas. I do try to remember that dad is making himself look good but my sons attitude is difficult.

© Photo: anon

Then there’s the lovely chaos of developmental phases. One day they’re sweet and cooperative, the next they’re moody, slamming doors, and saying “whatever” to everything. It’s not always personal, it’s often just adolescence. Understanding these phases can save us from spiraling into blame. Kids are figuring themselves out, and sometimes that means pushing boundaries. It’s bumpy, but it’s normal.

#10

I don't have kids but my boyfriend does... I find that I dislike them sometimes because they are so selfish and 'me-centric' (as are most kids). I'm not used to being selfless 100% of the time when they are around. I often wonder if they were MY kids, would I feel the same way?

© Photo: pinkempyreal

#11

My mother told me a few years ago that she didn't like me when I was a kid. I wasn't a bad kid at all, she just didn't like me. And I knew it. I remember I once said to my aunt that my mom didn't like me but that it was okay since I didn't like her either. I was 5. Of course I loved my mom but pretending not to was the only thing I had come up with. Also, I have a younger brother and he was clearly the sun in her life.
I still had a great childhood, thanks to my dad who loves me enough for both of them and took care of me (best dad ever, really).

When I left for college, we had an intense conversation and she apologized, broke down in tears on my shoulder, it was awful. I learned that day that she went through a bad depression after I was born and only got out of it when she had my brother, but still couldn't love me. It was so unfair, I didn't deserve any of this, I was just a baby / little girl.

I know now that I needed it, just so I could forgive her, I needed to hear it but while it was happening I felt nothing and I was terrified that she had ruined me and made me a cold hearted person.

I know I have some issues directly related to the fact that I didn't have my mother's love when I was little and that it really messed me up at some point but I'm slowly getting over it.

A few years later, my mom and I are building a great relationship, we actually have a lot in common and enjoy each other's company, but we're more like friends, not like mother / daughter.

All I can say is : if you don't love / like your kid, for whatever reason, and still care about them, juste make sure they don't know / feel it. Some things can't be fixed.

#12

My dad tries to care about me as he does my sister but I know he favors her and I dont really care she's a lot more alike him than I am and that works for them. My mom is stricter on me than my sister or brother just because I have a lot more health problems but as much as I'd like to say she favors me (we get along a lot more than me and my father) she favors my sister and my mentally challenged (like autistic but not) older brother (hes from from her first marriage).

My parents love me because I'm not nearly as much of a pain in the neck as my two older siblings my brother has bipolar and an anger something or another and my sister has a short fuse and I dont have anything so I'm easier to mull along.

I dont mind not being a favorite honestly, I'm a laid back guy and I just dont get mad its not my thing.

Let’s be real: resentment is heavy. And as parents, you’re already juggling a lot. Holding onto anger? That’s like lugging around a backpack full of bricks for no reason. Letting go isn’t about being noble, it’s about giving your heart a break. And oh, it deserves one.

When you set resentment down, calm can walk in. It creates room for better decision-making and more thoughtful responses. More peace means less yelling, more listening, and gentler mornings.

#13

One of my daughters sees right through me and knows I favor the other one. And I do. There's no doubt in my mind that I do, and that the other daughter knows.
So, now what do I do? I know for a fact that my father loved my sister and barely tolerated my presence. This affected me very much through my adolescent development.
I have decided to engage with the daughter who sees me as favoring the other in some kind of hobby so we can grow closer together over time. That's what it's going to have to be.
That's the best thing I have come up with.

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